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Often overlooked by busy brides, invitations are your
guest's first peek at your special day
Picking the ideal wedding invitation is a lot like shopping for
your wedding dress. It's a process that requires looking at styles and
mulling over different options before making the final decision. But
while many brides have an image of the perfect wedding dress long
before they start shopping, with invitations they often have no idea
where to even begin. "What typically happens is a bride comes into the
shop knowing invitations are something she needs, but doesn't know
where to start. Rare is the bride who knows what she wants," says
Elizabeth Deal, co-owner of Vellum in Kirkwood.
Some brides get so busy with all the other wedding details, the
invitations slip through the cracks.
"It's bizarre. So many brides forget about the invitations," says
Beth Barr, co-owner of Studio 2E, a custom invitation provider.
Selecting an Invitation -- Where to Begin?
Do you like traditional or contemporary? Do you prefer white, ivory,
or color? What kind of budget do you have? These are important factors
to consider when you start looking for invitations.
"We typically ask a few questions to get an idea of a bride's style
so we can direct her to the manufacturers we feel will best fit her
needs and desires. There are so many different types of invitations
that it can be overwhelming, but we are very familiar with the styles
and price ranges available so we can make it easier," says Deal.
It's a good idea to do some preliminary shopping online or through
magazines before you hit the stationery stores. You may find yourself
gravitating toward a certain feature such as a shimmer, ribbon, or
unique shape. Once you have some ideas of what you like, go to a
stationery store to get personalized help.
"Some brides come to us with a vision and others have no idea
whatsoever and we have to dig it out of them. We have a range of
styles in our portfolio and usually something sparks for them and we
take that as our starting point," says Barr.
Deal suggests starting by selecting the paper you like. "By that I
mean, do you like the shape, do you like the size, do you like the
weight of the paper? Does it have an embossed border, silver border,
ribbon, or design that appeals to you? Everything else is a blank
slate. You get to write what you want, use the type style you want,
use the colors you want. But the paper is a good starting point."
Knowing your budget before you start shopping is important. The
cost of invitations varies widely. For 100 invitations you can spend
$200 or $2000, depending on the type of paper, number of pieces, and
details such as ribbons and printing.
"It's very difficult to say what an invitation costs," says
Barr. "There are too many factors that go into it. We really try to
work with brides to stay within a budget. We can give them options or
change elements such as the type of ribbon or type of printing to best
fit their price range."
One misconception is that the shape of the invitation affects
postage costs.
"A wedding invitation typically costs 60 cents to mail. With all of
the inserts, you are going to need additional postage. You won't have
an additional charge for an oversized invitation," says Kippin
Sanchez, co-owner of Vellum.
The Pieces -- What Do You Need?
The number of pieces included in the invitation varies depending on
the plan for your wedding and your personal preference. The various
possibilities include reception cards, response cards, inner and outer
envelopes, direction cards, and menu cards.
"If the reception and ceremony are at the same location, such as
the Piper Palm House or the City Museum, many brides skip the
reception card," says Sanchez.
Instead, brides may choose to include reception information on the
invitation. Deal says this is accepted etiquette but to be careful not
to cram too much information on one card.
"If you need to include a lot of details, such as the time for the
reception if it isn't immediately following the ceremony or a
reception location, you should consider a separate card."
The response card is a must-have for every bride.
"The response set, a response card, and printed return envelope, are
sold together as one piece," says Deal. "You need to include a
respond-by date. Talk with your caterer or reception site to determine
how much notice they need for the guest count and allow extra time for
yourself to gather the information and make any follow-up phone
calls. I suggest taking the date the vendors require and adding at
least a week to it. Think about other information you want to gather
from your guests, such as name, number of people attending, or meal
selection."
One recent trend among brides is to use a postcard for the response
card in place of a card and envelope. While the cost savings is
minimal, some brides feel it is a simpler way to respond.
"With response cards, we do a lot of postcards, even with very
formal invitations," says Barr. "They look just as nice and it's one
less element to put in the invitation. Some brides love the idea of
the postcard because of its simplicity."
Traditionally, wedding invitations include an outer envelope for
mailing and an inner envelope with just the name of the guest.
"The inner envelope is more elegant, typically with a liner. Unlike
the mailing envelope it stays crisp and clean. Some brides choose to
forgo it, but it does allow you to be very specific about who you are
inviting," says Sanchez.
"We don't do a whole lot of inner envelopes anymore," says
Barr. "Definitely we do with more traditional invitations, but it's
rare. What we do in lieu of that is a neat liner on the outer
envelope."
Many brides choose to include accommodation information or
direction cards with their invitation. This information should be
included on a separate card, not on the back of the reception card.
"We like those to coordinate with the invitation. We don't want it
to look like something you copied and stuck in the invitation," says
Barr.
Deal offers a word of warning to those who choose to print their
own maps. "Don't use an inkjet printer or a photocopied map. The ink
can smear all over the wedding invitations and ruin the invitations
you spent so much time and money selecting."
Instead, Deal recommends having these cards printed on the same
paper as your invitations.
Menu cards, which allow guests to select a meal for the dinner, are
less common. Many brides feel they are unnecessary and too
complicated.
Barr says some couples choose to include invitations to a Friday
night activity or Sunday brunch with their wedding invitation.
Wording -- How Should It Read?
It used to be so simple. Traditionally, the bride's parents paid
for the wedding; therefore, the invitation read that they requested the
honor of the guest's presence at the marriage of their daughter. But
times have changed. Sometimes both the bride's parents and groom's
parents help pay for the wedding or the couple pays for their own
wedding. Not to mention divorce, blended families, nontraditional
families, and other complicating factors. But don't worry, help is
available.
"Brides seem to think it is more complicated than it really is. It
does get tricky with divorces or deaths, but if you are doing a
traditional wedding, the wording is simple. Some brides choose to get
more flowery than others, but the basic layout is the same. We work
with brides to come up with the appropriate wording for them. We walk
them through all the details and explain why things are done a certain
way," says Sanchez.
"We help brides with the etiquette of wording the invitation. We
have examples for them to consider. There are instances that create
challenges with wording, but there are so many options we can usually
find one to fit. We don't expect brides to know all this
information. It's our job to help them through the process," says
Barr.
Even the layout of the wording can differ from the traditional
centered down the middle look.
"Now brides use different fonts to highlight the names of the bride
and groom. Some off-set the printing or use a left or right justify to
change the look," says Deal.
Ordering -- How Many and How Soon?
"We would love to see a bride in our store four months prior to her
wedding," says Sanchez. "That will give her plenty of time to shop,
order the invitations, have them printed, get them assembled and
addressed and finally mailed six weeks before the ceremony."
Of course, Sanchez, Deal and Barr have all worked with brides on a
much tighter schedule, but allowing more time is better.
"We've done wedding invitations in as little as a week," says
Deal. "But we do not encourage that. You'll encounter extra charges
for rush printing and shipping and a lot of heartache."
Some brides delay ordering invitations until they are certain of
the number of people they'll be inviting. Deal says that is
unnecessary.
"You can shop, write up and even order your invitations without
knowing the final amount. The final number for printing must be given
when you sign off on the proof. Then you have at least three weeks to
finalize your address list while the invitations are being
printed. You don't have to wait until you have names and addresses to
get started."
Deal also stresses the importance of signing off on the proof. This
gives you one last chance to correct mistakes or make changes to your
invitation.
"You can and should see a proof of your invitation. This is
typically a black-and-white copy that is sent by email or fax. You may
or may not be able to see color, but you will see layout, wording and
type style."
Finalizing the number of invitations you need is crucial and can
have a huge effect on the cost.
"It's hard to nail down numbers, but the flip side is it's really
bad if you are off. It's a heck of a lot more expensive to order 25
more invitations after the fact than if you just added them to your
original order," says Sanchez.
"A lot of brides ask me how many invitations they should order. I
can help guide you, but I can't make the final decision. I tell brides
to consider how final the list is. What are the chances you've
forgotten someone or that someone in your family will add to the list?
The incremental cost of adding 25 invitations to your list is very
small. I recommend ordering 25 extra just to be safe. You do not want
to call me up and order 25 more after the printing because it will
bust your budget."
Deal also recommends that brides order extra envelopes to account
for any errors when addressing. "You can order extra envelopes without
ordering additional invitations. Don't pay for more invitations just
to get extra envelopes."
Addressing -- What is Accepted Etiquette?
There are several acceptable ways, and one big faux pas, for
addressing your wedding invitations.
Many couples choose to hire a calligrapher for an elegant
look. However, if you have very neat and legible handwriting, you may
choose to hand-address your own invitations. Refer to an etiquette
book or talk with your stationery representative to make sure you
address the envelopes properly. Most cities, streets, and states are
not abbreviated on wedding invitations.
Computer-addressed envelopes are another option, if you have the
proper font and can run the envelopes through the printer. Computer
labels are unacceptable.
"Labels are a no-no. The only time we do a label is if we have an
invitation mailed in a unique vessel such as a formal box or tube. But
even that label is designed to specifically match the invitation,"
says Barr.
Some vendors, including Vellum and Studio 2E, offer a service
called computer calligraphy that is less expensive than hand
calligraphy but still beautiful.
"With computer calligraphy, we use a true calligrapher font and
program the addresses into the computer. It's a great option for
people who can't afford hand calligraphy. Plus, we can print in color
or use the same font as the invitation for brides who want the
envelope to coordinate with the invitation," says Barr.
Another option to consider is having your wedding invitation
hand-cancelled rather than run through a machine to preserve the look
of the invitation. If you choose to have this done, check with the
post office for availability and timing.
"I believe that the only post office in St. Louis that will
hand-cancel invitations is the downtown post office. It does add a
nice touch, especially if you've had a calligrapher address them,"
says Sanchez.
Before mailing the invitations, compile a sample and have it
weighed at the post office to confirm the postage amount
needed. Finally, wait to seal the envelopes until you are certain all
the pieces have been included.
Final Words of Wisdom
From selecting your paper to dropping them in the mailbox, wedding
invitations involve a process of picking, planning, and preparing. But
there are plenty of resources to help you navigate.
"The Internet is fine to get a feel for what you like, but I
recommend coming to a stationery store to purchase your
invitations. We'll hold your hand, tell you what is the right
protocol, what is proper and best for your wedding. With the Internet
or a catalog, you are on your own. You don't have the opportunity to
sit down and ask questions. There is more room for error and if there
is a mistake, you have little recourse. Plus, at a store you can hold
the paper, touch it. Feel the ribbon and see if it's as sheer as you
want. See the exact color of the paper, printing or other
elements. The computer doesn't always represent color truly," says
Sanchez.
Invitations have evolved tremendously in recent years. No longer
are the options only white or ivory. Brides have numerous choices to
create a unique invitation.
"You can actually start with the same white or ivory card that
your parents used for their wedding invitation and make it your
own. Use colored ink, add a bow or artistic element, pick a more
contemporary layout, and you have a completely different feel that
best fits your taste and style. I love working with a bride to help
her discover what she wants, what she needs and what she can
afford. Helping her put together the perfect invitation is so
rewarding," says Deal.
The invitation is the first peek your guests get at your wedding
day. It should be special and fit the overall style of your wedding.
"Ultimately, you want your invitation to be a gift to your
guest. It gives them an idea of what the event is going to be like and
creates some excitement for your special day," says Barr.
Additional Pieces
Your need for printed materials for your wedding doesn't
necessarily begin or end with the invitations. Following are some
other items to consider ordering:
Save the Date Cards: Save the date cards are growing in
popularity and are especially helpful for couples expecting a lot of
out-of-town guests or for couples getting married during the prime
wedding months of September and June. These cards can coordinate with
the invitation or often are more casual and fun.
"You can have fun with the save the date cards. We've done magnets
with a photo of the couple and cards that look like lottery tickets
where you scratch off to reveal the date," says Sanchez.
Programs: While some couples choose to print their own
programs, you may be better off handing this project off to the
professionals.
"There is a lot of detail that goes into the program. It's not that
expensive to print and is often well worth the headache it takes away
from the bride," says Deal.
Programs come in many unique shapes, sizes and price ranges. It
doesn't necessarily have to coordinate with the invitation, but should
complement the style and colors used in the venue. If the ceremony is
at a special or unique location, such as the Old Cathedral, using a
picture of the church on the cover is a unique touch.
Reception Pieces: Reception pieces include items such as
table cards, place cards, and napkins. These pieces should coordinate
more with the reception site than with your invitations.
"It's nice to coordinate, but everything doesn't have to match,"
says Sanchez. "It's unlikely that any of your guests are bringing the
invitation to the ceremony or reception. It's more important that your
reception pieces coordinate with the venue."
"If your invitation was ivory, but your linens are white, use white
for your reception pieces. You want the reception pieces to fit the
mood and color scheme of that setting," says Deal.
Thank You Notes: Thank you notes are an absolute
necessity. Some brides select thank you notes that match the wedding
invitation, but other options are available and acceptable.
"Brides actually are sticking to pretty traditional thank you
notes. A lot of times we do coordinate thank you notes with everything
else they've done. Another thing we see couples do a lot is use a
photo from their wedding -- not a posed photo, but more of a
journalistic-type photo -- and incorporate that in a thank you card. A
new, unique format is a single panel thank you that isn't a typical
fold-open card and couples use their new monogram with that," says
Barr.
"Some brides love their wedding invitation and its uniqueness and
they want to use matching thank you notes. However, if you don't feel
strongly one way or the other, I advise that you can go another way. A
formal card with the couple's names or monogrammed printed is
popular," says Deal.Deal also reminds brides to order thank you notes to use for bridal
showers. These can be fun, whimsical cards and shouldn't use your new
name or monogram since they will be used prior to the wedding.
Structure
For a long time size was the big trend, but now it's about
structure.
"Pocket invitations where all the pieces fit inside a folder are
popular. The reception card and response card are tucked inside rather
than loose in the envelope," says Sanchez.
"Brides are much more drawn to unusual structures. A three-panel
Z-fold is very popular this year. Many brides like invitations you can
interact with rather than a bunch of cards in an envelope. Structures
that contain everything so the pieces aren't loose and don't come
flying out of the invitation are big. Innovative ways to contain
invitations with pockets are very popular," says Barr.
Color
Color is everywhere. Whether it's colored ink on a traditional
white or ivory invitation, a colored liner for the envelope or colored
paper, brides can't get enough.
"More brides are going with colored paper, not just ivory and
white, especially around the holidays. We see a lot of invitations
with colors that correspond with the season," says Sanchez.
Barr agrees, "Colors are all over the place. They go way beyond
ivory and white. Colors that go along with the seasons are big. In the
fall, chocolates and oranges are very popular. Chocolate with pink and
chocolate with turquoise are very common. Some brides choose to use a
color palate. Instead of just one pink, they'll use a range from coral
to magenta."
Layering cards gives invitations a matted look while incorporating
color.
"Putting a pink card on top of a brown card gives a framed look. Or
you can use two framing colors with a white card on top. Then you have
the more traditional white card your mom wants, but the color you
want," says Deal.
Themes
Using an overall wedding theme is a popular trend that carries over
to the invitations.
"We did a world travel theme that the couple used throughout the
wedding. They even used luggage tags for the place cards and
favors. Another couple used a Tuscan theme and their save the date
card looked like a wine label. Using a theme that is meaningful to the
couple can make the wedding especially memorable for them and the
guests," says Barr.
Couples having destination weddings at an exotic location often use
corresponding artwork in their invitations.
"We see a lot of destination weddings to places like Florida,
California, Hawaii or Costa Rica. Those couples often use the location
as a theme throughout their printed materials," says Sanchez.
Trends
The current trend for wedding invitations can be summed up in one
word: unique. Brides are no longer sticking to white or ivory panel
cards. Innovative approaches to color and structure are especially
popular.
Letterpress
Letterpress is a printing process in which set type is inked and
impressed directly onto the printing surface. It is a beautiful but
expensive technique.
"On a national level, letterpress is a hot trend right now," says
Barr. "We may combine letterpress with more unique structures for an
elegant invitation. It makes for a more expensive piece and definitely
needs more lead time."
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